[kaz is only momentarily shaken (haha) by the quake.]
He already has visitors, because that asshole kidnapped real people that we actually happen to care about, so... tell him we'll give him one chance to let us in, or we're calling the cops!
Wh-what we mean to say is, while we don't intend to interfere with Mister Gronch's business, we believe he has mistakenly taken something that is beyond the scope of his normal activities, and would like to rectify the error...
[The gingerbread man is very much considering just stepping on Kaz and solving the problem (also, what the hell is a cop?) but he seems to be blinking slowly and thinking this over.]
"Exchange?" [There's a nod of his gingey-head, but he bends down to pick up one of his gumdrop buttons. It seems he's waiting to hear what the two of them will offer in exchange for being taken to the Gronch.]
I can offer you one extra-large luxury chocolate for the safe return of our people, and I promise not to sic the authorities on you for your involvement in human trafficking!
[The cookie monster seems to take offense to both of those offers because he is, unfortunately, not a cannibal.]
"No exchange, no visitations!"
[The gifts aren't accepted and that's completely tragic...but perhaps you can offer some Christmas magic? This gingerbread man does the job of one, and yet it seems he isn't having fun...
[Estelle really is one of the only kind people in this game. Not that this gingerbread man knows, because he hears Kaz's plan and immediately lobs the gumdrop boulder at him. Quiet!
As Estelle presents the shield, however, the gingerbread man wanders forward and takes it to examine. He hums, the trees rustling around him as he shakes the shield and checks its stability. After a moment, however, there's a low guttural sort of sound of approval as the leaves begin to move.
Several smaller gingerbread men decorated in frosting-crafted winter clothing scurry from the branches, examining the shield before jumping up and down. The shield is set on the ground and the smaller creatures hop on, immediately zipping down a small hill with their new Christmas sled. Wheee!!!
Perhaps it's best to ignore the small red and green darts that have been dropped in the snow. No, no, nothing to see here! It's not like the gingerbread man was planning to have his children shoot them with tranq darts if they didn't cooperate.
...but the shield does suffice! The gingerbread man waddles a little to let them pass, an arm pointing onward down the path. The trees thin out down the path and there's an upward slope leading to an entrance in the cliffside. A tattered cloth is pulled over it like a makeshift door, but there's no sign of life that's immediate.]
"You have been warned!" [But it seems that they can move forward if they wish.]
[it's only kaz's naturally quick reflexes that stop him from becoming even flatter than jayden smith's line delivery.
he scowls up at the giga-gingy, but the dude has already lost interest in him. well, whatever. time to head up the cliff!!
to the surprise of everyone (or at least estelle), he actually stops just before the tattered clothdoor, and knocks on the rock next to the cave entrance.]
[The gingerdudes can be heard laughing in the distance as they play in the snow with Estelle's shield. Isn't that nice? It's nicer than whatever's going on here because while there's no verbal response, inside the cave they'll hear the sound of a radio playing holiday music and the slap, slap, slap of someone's feet on the ground.]
"No, no, no! Not down that hall! We want to destroy Christmas once and for all!"
[It seems like the Gronch is too busy to notice he has guests, and the wind kicks in once more to lift the ragged cloth and pin to the cliffside. Oh, look. Door's open!
Inside is a bit dark in the entryway, but there are some lights down the hallway and the back of Helena's head appears as she disappears into another room.]
[Kaz is wunnin, Estelle is wunnin after him, and they're going to run down the hall and burst into a room that's stacked high with opened gift boxes, toys, clothing, books, gizmos and gadgets. All the things a materialistic person could want are in this room...
...of course, there's also Helena taking her place at the disassembly line with Rita next to her, both of them in new, homemade outfits. The pair of them don't seem to notice Estelle or Kaz as they work on breaking apart each item, sending them down a metal conveyor belt toward the opposite side of this large open room. Though the end of the belt is hard to see from their current position, every now and then they'll hear a loud, satisfying crunch of a gift gone flat.]
"Hurry it up! We haven't much time before Christmas is here!"
[The Gronch's voice echoes across the room, and Helena and Rita pick up the pace of their work. If Kaz and Estelle glance around the room, they may also see the gifts from earlier with the tags for those from the lodge and for themselves, just waiting in line for the chance to be destroyed.]
[There are two kinds of people in this world and they're both in this thread. As Kaz laments the potential loss of a capitalist Christmas, Estelle will find that she's able to approach Rita. Never stopping from her job of dismantling objects to place on the conveyer belt, Rita meets Estelle's eyes but doesn't quite seem to see her.]
"The Gronch wants to stomp out all Christmas Cheer."
[It's then that Helena turns to face Kaz, an equally blank look on her face as she continues her work and speaks next.]
"These gifts are pointless, and we're happy here."
[And so they continue to throw items on the belt even as the belt itself picks up speed. The pile of presents is growing smaller and the two girls are working a little faster. A box is opened then and out comes a doll that looks like Bedivere. Don't mind Helena as she behinds it and drops it on the belt, letting it go right past Kaz. Rita also seems to be smashing apart a wooden puzzle in the likeness of Kray Foresight, breaking it into splinters.
Oh god, it's even worse than I thought—they're speaking in rhymes! What if they burst into song next? Their reputations would never recover. Worst of all, they don't even look like they're enjoying it!
[christmas is five seconds away from being cancelled. kaz recoils from the bedivere doll as it goes by, knocking it off the belt with a hand—gross! defect goods!—before looking around the room, frowning, and cupping his hands over his mouth to yell:]
[Without someone to counter the verbal attack, there's a sudden loud grinding halt of the machinery from the back. The same slap, slap, slap noise is heard as the Gronch approaches in his homemade red Santa suit, the front of his hat hanging in his eyes as he folds his arms over his chest. Long, green fingers tap over one arm and he snarls at the two of them.]
"Well, what do you want? You're interrupting my production here!"
[The Gronch does not seem threatened by this "asskicking", nor sympathetic to Estelle's sudden emotions.]
kaz is momentarily lost for words, so he leans over to estelle instead, lowering his voice to a bare whisper.]
Ugh. It looks like a cat ate a bunch of leaves and then vomited them into a pile, and the pile put on some Christmas livery and started talking. Classic demonic shit.
I'll try kicking him in the ballsack. You can't reason with communists—they don't see the value of value.
"I can still hear you!" [This is to Kaz whom the Gronch sends a glare as if debating the fastest way to send through the toy grinder. To Estelle, however he shakes his head.]
"No, no, impossible! There are no friends here. Just Santy Claws and two two hard-working elves. So why don't you just run along?"
Fuck that! I didn't save Helena from life-long imprisonment for terrorist acts just for her to end up as a mindless slave to someone else's ideals of dismantling the flagship holiday for the materialistically-minded populace!
[he points at the gronch, shaking his finger.]
We're not going anywhere until you release them!
[also. where's his present? if he can find it, he's gonna try and grab it.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He already has visitors, because that asshole kidnapped real people that we actually happen to care about, so... tell him we'll give him one chance to let us in, or we're calling the cops!
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Wh-what we mean to say is, while we don't intend to interfere with Mister Gronch's business, we believe he has mistakenly taken something that is beyond the scope of his normal activities, and would like to rectify the error...
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"Exchange?" [There's a nod of his gingey-head, but he bends down to pick up one of his gumdrop buttons. It seems he's waiting to hear what the two of them will offer in exchange for being taken to the Gronch.]
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[!]
I can offer you one extra-large luxury chocolate for the safe return of our people, and I promise not to sic the authorities on you for your involvement in human trafficking!
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I have... some cookies?
[They're just a couple of sugar cookies she made back at the lodge.]
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"No exchange, no visitations!"
[The gifts aren't accepted and that's completely tragic...but perhaps you can offer some Christmas magic? This gingerbread man does the job of one, and yet it seems he isn't having fun...
...any other ideas?]
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[kaz, in exchange, is disgusted with giga-gingy's refusal of the Best Thing In The World.]
The shops are all closed—we can't even buy anything! Our best bet is just to run between his legs—or dunk him into a gigantic glass of milk!
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[Besides the clothes on their backs, which they need if they don't want to freeze to death.]
[And so, with some reluctance, Estelle's going to loosen the strap on her shield and hold it up for the creature to see.]
Would this be sufficient?
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As Estelle presents the shield, however, the gingerbread man wanders forward and takes it to examine. He hums, the trees rustling around him as he shakes the shield and checks its stability. After a moment, however, there's a low guttural sort of sound of approval as the leaves begin to move.
Several smaller gingerbread men decorated in frosting-crafted winter clothing scurry from the branches, examining the shield before jumping up and down. The shield is set on the ground and the smaller creatures hop on, immediately zipping down a small hill with their new Christmas sled. Wheee!!!
Perhaps it's best to ignore the small red and green darts that have been dropped in the snow. No, no, nothing to see here! It's not like the gingerbread man was planning to have his children shoot them with tranq darts if they didn't cooperate.
...but the shield does suffice! The gingerbread man waddles a little to let them pass, an arm pointing onward down the path. The trees thin out down the path and there's an upward slope leading to an entrance in the cliffside. A tattered cloth is pulled over it like a makeshift door, but there's no sign of life that's immediate.]
"You have been warned!" [But it seems that they can move forward if they wish.]
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[it's only kaz's naturally quick reflexes that stop him from becoming even flatter than jayden smith's line delivery.
he scowls up at the giga-gingy, but the dude has already lost interest in him. well, whatever. time to head up the cliff!!
to the surprise of everyone (or at least estelle), he actually stops just before the tattered clothdoor, and knocks on the rock next to the cave entrance.]
Knock knock knock! We've got cookies!
[well. estelle does??]
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well, that sort of makes up for them losing their only defensive item.
estelle walks up to the cave entrance... and politely waits to see if there's a response.]
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"No, no, no! Not down that hall! We want to destroy Christmas once and for all!"
[It seems like the Gronch is too busy to notice he has guests, and the wind kicks in once more to lift the ragged cloth and pin to the cliffside. Oh, look. Door's open!
Inside is a bit dark in the entryway, but there are some lights down the hallway and the back of Helena's head appears as she disappears into another room.]
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[door's! open!!
and--]
Helena!
[HE'S WUNNIN]
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[Estelle's going to try to run after him!]
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...of course, there's also Helena taking her place at the disassembly line with Rita next to her, both of them in new, homemade outfits. The pair of them don't seem to notice Estelle or Kaz as they work on breaking apart each item, sending them down a metal conveyor belt toward the opposite side of this large open room. Though the end of the belt is hard to see from their current position, every now and then they'll hear a loud, satisfying crunch of a gift gone flat.]
"Hurry it up! We haven't much time before Christmas is here!"
[The Gronch's voice echoes across the room, and Helena and Rita pick up the pace of their work. If Kaz and Estelle glance around the room, they may also see the gifts from earlier with the tags for those from the lodge and for themselves, just waiting in line for the chance to be destroyed.]
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[kaz's distress is immeasurable, and his day is ruined. he grabs estelle by the shoulders, full of woe.]
We have to stop them! Our gifts are coming up! If we lose touch with our precious material things, Christmas really will be ruined!
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[???]
Oh, Rita!
[Breaking away from Kaz, Estelle runs over to her friend's side, putting a hand on her shoulder.]
Rita, we came to rescue you!
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"The Gronch wants to stomp out all Christmas Cheer."
[It's then that Helena turns to face Kaz, an equally blank look on her face as she continues her work and speaks next.]
"These gifts are pointless, and we're happy here."
[And so they continue to throw items on the belt even as the belt itself picks up speed. The pile of presents is growing smaller and the two girls are working a little faster. A box is opened then and out comes a doll that looks like Bedivere. Don't mind Helena as she behinds it and drops it on the belt, letting it go right past Kaz. Rita also seems to be smashing apart a wooden puzzle in the likeness of Kray Foresight, breaking it into splinters.
Dedicated little elves, aren't they?]
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[christmas is five seconds away from being cancelled. kaz recoils from the bedivere doll as it goes by, knocking it off the belt with a hand—gross! defect goods!—before looking around the room, frowning, and cupping his hands over his mouth to yell:]
Hey, Gronch! Get out here so I can kick your ass!
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and. oh.
the bedivere doll.
just give her a moment, estelle has some feelings to try to repress.]
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"Well, what do you want? You're interrupting my production here!"
[The Gronch does not seem threatened by this "asskicking", nor sympathetic to Estelle's sudden emotions.]
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what the fuck is that.
kaz is momentarily lost for words, so he leans over to estelle instead, lowering his voice to a bare whisper.]
Ugh. It looks like a cat ate a bunch of leaves and then vomited them into a pile, and the pile put on some Christmas livery and started talking. Classic demonic shit.
I'll try kicking him in the ballsack. You can't reason with communists—they don't see the value of value.
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......
even with kaz. being kaz. she has to keep it together. for rita!]
... Please excuse our intrusion, Mister Gronch. We came here to find our friends.
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"No, no, impossible! There are no friends here. Just Santy Claws and two two hard-working elves. So why don't you just run along?"
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[he points at the gronch, shaking his finger.]
We're not going anywhere until you release them!
[also. where's his present? if he can find it, he's gonna try and grab it.]
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