This is hot bullshit! The Helena I know would never hesitate to tell you how awful Christmas is, for a series of reason I neither agree with or care about, but she wouldn't ruin it for anyone else—or kill me!
[kaz wriggles like an angry raccoon, trying his damndest to slip out of the festive bonds. at one point, he reaches for the bow with his mouth, trying to bite the ribbon and untie it.]
[the ribbons feel a little looser, but will it be enough to get out in time? she’s not sure she can lean far enough forward to reach her own ribbon...
but kaz’s restraints sit at a more accessible angle. with no time to hesitate, she tries to lean over, hoping it’s enough to chomp one of the ends of his bow with her teeth, then pull it back.
if he gets freed first, he’ll return the favor... won’t he?
if it was anyone else, she wouldn’t feel so uncertain.]
[The elves cheerfully (?) wave as they continue their task and Estelle and Kaz travel down the belt. The ribbons are done up nicely and it's a little hard without hands, but wriggling and a bit of teamwork seems to be doing the trick.
Granted, the Gronch hates teamwork and so the belt picks up speed a little more, the ominous jingle of bell-like laughter ringing through the workshop. They'll have to work fast and pray that Kaz doesn't just ditch Estelle, especially as the crusher draws closer and closer.]
"You should have stayed out and left things alone!" [The Gronch almost sounds a little giddy as he sits back in his operating tower, leaning on the lever to control the belt and the crusher itself. Toys, games and items galore continue to get smashed to bits and dumped down a hole at the end of the line. It seems the pair of them are headed right that way. The ribbon is tight, but the elves didn't anticipate anyone biting them either so it's marginally successful. Nice.]
[as soon as kaz can get at least one hand free, he's already reaching over to estelle's. surprise! materialism has somehow not evaporated every last trace of human kindness! in fact, he focuses on estelle's until she's totally untied and free, instead of continuing on his own.]
Ahhhh, fuck!
[the stress is really weighing on him, though, and he fumbles with his ribbon, trying to wrench himself free, and roll off the belt.]
[as soon as she’s free (to her utter shock), Estelle grabs at Kaz’s restraints, tearing at them desperately as they draw closer to the crusher...
It’s near the very last moment that she jumps off the conveyor belt, grabbing a handful of kaz’s clothes and hoping to help him roll off of there with her.
when she lands, she’s just kind of dazed for a few moments.
did kaz kaan actually do the right thing?? is this a christmas miracle???]
[Well. They narrowly miss the crusher and land flat on the ground in a pile of limbs, ribbon, and absolute shock. They'll likely be bruised a bit when this is over, but at least they're alive! The machine continues to work above them, and the Gronch doesn't seem to realize they've rolled onto the ground. He sits back, adjusting his Santa hat and pulling a few other knobs to add another set of crushers to crunch from the side of the belt.
But they have a few options here. The Gronch is still set out to destroy Christmas, and the elves are hard at work destroying joy. The hole in the ground where the damaged goods go looms behind them, and the belt's still going. Their presents will be traveling past soon, but maybe there's a bigger priority?
[for a long moment, kaz just lies flat on his back, blinking.]
Ugh. This is exactly why I despise gift-giving. Stick to receiving, as I always say.
[rolling over, he props himself up, staying down far enough to avoid the gronch's sight, but close enough to talk to estelle eye to eye.]
So, clearly, it's up to us to save Christmas. I'm not really sure how, to be completely honest with you—but I'm totally feeling it right now. Maybe this is what the commercials mean when they talk about "Christmas cheer"?
But we can't let what just happened to us happen again. Maybe if we stop the machine first?
[Then the Gronch won't be able to crush them, and the "elves" won't have any work to focus on.
From what Estelle can see, the Gronch is currently at the controls... but is there a power source, or anything else that looks like it can be interfered with?]
[There is a large electrical plug not too far from where they're standing, just out of sight of the Gronch. It's big enough that it may take both of them to pull on it, but maybe that's worth giving a try.]
[kaz follows estelle's line of sight to the power plus, which is enormous, and perks up.]
I was going to suggest more drastic methods, [he was going to suggest blowing it up and kicking the gronch in the dick, not necessarily in that order] but that will do nicely.
Stealth time!
[which means kaz is tiptoeing across the floor to the plug like the clown cartoon character he truly is, before just wholesale tryna yank it out]
[And a one, and a two, and a three! No dick-kicking is necessary and the two of them unearth the plug from the wall, a strange, unsettling suction noise following.
They may want to find something to hold onto though, because soon they'll hear the sound of yelling from the Gronch as the hole in the ground widens, a vacuum forming as it begins to suck up the machine, the debris, and even the Gronch himself. The elves lose their grip, flickering for a moment before bursting into red and green confetti and dancing in the wind. Were they ever truly there at all?
The contents of the room swirl, around and around as everything disappears. As the last item is swallowed by the hole itself, they'll hear the Gronch shouting from below.]
"You were warned! You should have gone my way!"
[When the noise dies down, they'll find themselves alone in an empty room with the conveyer belt and two lone gifts.
But it seems as though they have their names on them.]
Wow. Was that a simulation inside of a simulation? If that wasn't real—if Helena wasn't—are we? Can we trust what our eyes saw? Are eyes even real? How could we have seen any of this, if they aren't?
[kaz rubs his head, shaking it slowly—then shrugs.]
Eh.
Anyway. Presents!
[and he. trots off to the gifts without a care in the world, holding estelle's out to her when he eventually gets there.]
Merry Christmas, Estelle! [and a happy psychological nightmare!]
[Congratulations on your prizes! For Kaz, as he unwraps his gift, he'll find one giant toblerone. As for Estelle, she'll find what looks to be a homemade bento made with love and dedication.
The food looks delicious and smells great, but that's not all. They will innately realize that these gifts will replenish for three meals per day for the next three days. How nice, given the rest of the food at the lodge is now just fake.
But the time has come for this adventure to end. They've managed to avoid too much damage besides minor cuts and bruises, at least. There's only a few moments that they're able to admire their gifts before their vision first goes black and then white again. As they blink away the spots of dizziness, a chill settles over their skin as they find themselves back out in the snow, not too far from the lodge.
...huh. And it seems as though Estelle's shield is lying right in front of the door, too. Hurry in now. The weather's unpredictable around these parts.]
No need to thank me! Thank the spirit of Jesus Christ, first of his name!
[and with zero further explanation, he rips open his own gift.]
A giant toblerone! Charles could learn a thing or two from this for his storytelling! I'll cherish it forever... with my mouth!
[kaz is indeed hugging his giant toblerone like it's a stuffed toy. okay.
then the world turns inside out, and they're back in the snow—which kaz just kind of. nods at cheerfully. it's par for the course, at this point. fuck it! life is meaningless anyway.]
Well, I could really go for a hot chocolate about now. How about you?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[kaz wriggles like an angry raccoon, trying his damndest to slip out of the festive bonds. at one point, he reaches for the bow with his mouth, trying to bite the ribbon and untie it.]
Come on Estelle! Put your teeth into it!
no subject
[the ribbons feel a little looser, but will it be enough to get out in time? she’s not sure she can lean far enough forward to reach her own ribbon...
but kaz’s restraints sit at a more accessible angle. with no time to hesitate, she tries to lean over, hoping it’s enough to chomp one of the ends of his bow with her teeth, then pull it back.
if he gets freed first, he’ll return the favor... won’t he?
if it was anyone else, she wouldn’t feel so uncertain.]
no subject
Granted, the Gronch hates teamwork and so the belt picks up speed a little more, the ominous jingle of bell-like laughter ringing through the workshop. They'll have to work fast and pray that Kaz doesn't just ditch Estelle, especially as the crusher draws closer and closer.]
"You should have stayed out and left things alone!" [The Gronch almost sounds a little giddy as he sits back in his operating tower, leaning on the lever to control the belt and the crusher itself. Toys, games and items galore continue to get smashed to bits and dumped down a hole at the end of the line. It seems the pair of them are headed right that way. The ribbon is tight, but the elves didn't anticipate anyone biting them either so it's marginally successful. Nice.]
no subject
Ahhhh, fuck!
[the stress is really weighing on him, though, and he fumbles with his ribbon, trying to wrench himself free, and roll off the belt.]
Damn you, Karl Marx!
no subject
It’s near the very last moment that she jumps off the conveyor belt, grabbing a handful of kaz’s clothes and hoping to help him roll off of there with her.
when she lands, she’s just kind of dazed for a few moments.
did kaz kaan actually do the right thing?? is this a christmas miracle???]
no subject
But they have a few options here. The Gronch is still set out to destroy Christmas, and the elves are hard at work destroying joy. The hole in the ground where the damaged goods go looms behind them, and the belt's still going. Their presents will be traveling past soon, but maybe there's a bigger priority?
What will you do?]
no subject
Ugh. This is exactly why I despise gift-giving. Stick to receiving, as I always say.
[rolling over, he props himself up, staying down far enough to avoid the gronch's sight, but close enough to talk to estelle eye to eye.]
So, clearly, it's up to us to save Christmas. I'm not really sure how, to be completely honest with you—but I'm totally feeling it right now. Maybe this is what the commercials mean when they talk about "Christmas cheer"?
[christmas is absolutely fucked.]
no subject
But we can't let what just happened to us happen again. Maybe if we stop the machine first?
[Then the Gronch won't be able to crush them, and the "elves" won't have any work to focus on.
From what Estelle can see, the Gronch is currently at the controls... but is there a power source, or anything else that looks like it can be interfered with?]
no subject
no subject
I was going to suggest more drastic methods, [he was going to suggest blowing it up and kicking the gronch in the dick, not necessarily in that order] but that will do nicely.
Stealth time!
[which means kaz is tiptoeing across the floor to the plug like the clown cartoon character he truly is, before just wholesale tryna yank it out]
no subject
no subject
They may want to find something to hold onto though, because soon they'll hear the sound of yelling from the Gronch as the hole in the ground widens, a vacuum forming as it begins to suck up the machine, the debris, and even the Gronch himself. The elves lose their grip, flickering for a moment before bursting into red and green confetti and dancing in the wind. Were they ever truly there at all?
The contents of the room swirl, around and around as everything disappears. As the last item is swallowed by the hole itself, they'll hear the Gronch shouting from below.]
"You were warned! You should have gone my way!"
[When the noise dies down, they'll find themselves alone in an empty room with the conveyer belt and two lone gifts.
But it seems as though they have their names on them.]
no subject
huh.
kaz looks at his hands. touches his face.]
Wow. Was that a simulation inside of a simulation? If that wasn't real—if Helena wasn't—are we? Can we trust what our eyes saw? Are eyes even real? How could we have seen any of this, if they aren't?
[kaz rubs his head, shaking it slowly—then shrugs.]
Eh.
Anyway. Presents!
[and he. trots off to the gifts without a care in the world, holding estelle's out to her when he eventually gets there.]
Merry Christmas, Estelle! [and a happy psychological nightmare!]
no subject
[There was definitely a part of her that wanted to believe Rita was just within reach.
Well... she might as well see what the consolation prize is.]
... Thank you.
[She'll try opening it!]
no subject
The food looks delicious and smells great, but that's not all. They will innately realize that these gifts will replenish for three meals per day for the next three days. How nice, given the rest of the food at the lodge is now just fake.
But the time has come for this adventure to end. They've managed to avoid too much damage besides minor cuts and bruises, at least. There's only a few moments that they're able to admire their gifts before their vision first goes black and then white again. As they blink away the spots of dizziness, a chill settles over their skin as they find themselves back out in the snow, not too far from the lodge.
...huh. And it seems as though Estelle's shield is lying right in front of the door, too. Hurry in now. The weather's unpredictable around these parts.]
no subject
[and with zero further explanation, he rips open his own gift.]
A giant toblerone! Charles could learn a thing or two from this for his storytelling! I'll cherish it forever... with my mouth!
[kaz is indeed hugging his giant toblerone like it's a stuffed toy. okay.
then the world turns inside out, and they're back in the snow—which kaz just kind of. nods at cheerfully. it's par for the course, at this point. fuck it! life is meaningless anyway.]
Well, I could really go for a hot chocolate about now. How about you?